We've heard several stories of foster families and adoptive families who didn't get along, so I consider my little family blessed that we never had those conflicts. In fact, they have been very helpful as we transition from being DINKs (dual income, no kids) to having a bubbly 10 month old.
The foster mom helped Gladys learn how to change diapers, showed us how to give The Kid a bath and let us feed her a few times at their home before we brought her to ours, giving us a chance to get use to the process in a place The Kid was comfortable. For our first overnight visit, the foster mom gave us a handwritten note, detailing The Kid's night-time and breakfast routines so we would feel more comfortable. That note is still hanging on our fridge.
They helped us properly install The Kid's car seat. They stopped using the name she was born with and started using the name we are giving her a few days before we met The Kid so she could get use to hearing it. They calmly explained what Mongolian spots were after we freaked out, thinking we had accidentally bruised The Kid.
On the day we brought The Kid home for good, they gave us a bag full of every toy they purchased for her, all of her clothes, a ton of food for her and a baby book. There are pictures of every milestone she reached and holiday she celebrated while in their care, from Easter to her first bite of food. They even took her to have her picture taken with Santa just before our last visit so we wouldn't have to worry about doing it ourselves.
Most importantly, they gave her a loving home to live in from the day she came home from the hospital. The Kid is playful, chatty and cuddly (when she's comfortable with someone), all qualities I attribute to being loved from birth.
At some point, The Kid will know she has been adopted and we will talk about it in as appropriately as we can for her age. Hopefully, she will know that we love her and fell in love with her the day we met her. And I am glad that we can say with certainty that she was loved by her foster family. I hope we maintain a good relationship with the foster family so they can tell her themselves.