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What would The Kid think if I backed out now?

Base Camp Challenge Center in Flint, MI.
I'm currently taking the last class I need to complete my Master's in Training and Development. Although it does not relate directly to the work I do everyday, I am so close to finishing the degree that it hardly makes sense to stop now.

For class, we went to the Base Camp Challenge Center in Flint, MI today.  After a few team building exercises, we strapped on harnesses and helmets to start climbing around 20 feet above ground.

Beau, our facilitator for the morning, noted that I'm probably not really afraid of heights, I am probably more afraid of falling. Regardless, dangling above the ground is not my preferred activity.

Instead of wringing my hands, hoping to get out of the activity, I decided to be one of the first people on the course. The butterflies in my stomach were flying high, and I could feel a wave of nervous energy crash into me as I clipped my harness onto the first wire. My feet were becoming cold.

And then I asked myself, what would The Kid think if I backed out now? 

I did half of the highest course, enough to get the full experience but not so much that my heart exploded with nervous energy. Since I was first up, I was also the first off the course, so I had plenty of time to reflect on my time on the course. And that's when it hit me, I've been asking myself that question a lot lately.

What would The Kid think if her Papa didn't finish his degree after coming so close? What would The Kid think if I didn't face my fear and climb on a few ropes? What would The Kid think if I didn't give it my all at work?

The funny thing is, she's only 18 months old. She's just happy when I walk in the door at daycare and give her a big hug, then open her package of graham crackers when she gets in the car for the ride home. She's thrilled when she wakes up in the morning and we snuggle on the couch while she drinks her bottle of milk. She doesn't care what I did at work, how my class is going or if I was so nervous walking along a beam 25 feet in the air that I couldn't do it without holding on to my harness.

But that question is one that I am going to be asking for a long time to come. I want to be a great role model for The Kid. And that question is one way to help me stay on track.


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