Skip to main content

Where is Billy Ray in all this Miley Cyrus mess?

Photo credit: Norrismoonlight
After Miley Cyrus thrilled some and revolted millions with her act at Sunday's VMA's, a friend commented that he felt bad for her father Billy Ray for having witnessed his daughter's provocative scene. I believe he compared Billy Ray watching Miley's performance with going to a strip club and finding out it's your daughter on stage.

Before I go any further, let me get a few things off my chest. Yes, Robin Thicke deserves heat for his part and yes, it is a commentary on America's permissive rape culture.  This clearly points out the double standard we have for our daughters and sons. And lest you think this controversy is all just pop culture nonsense and we need to focus on the impending war in Syria, I think your argument is short-sighted because of the messages pop culture sends our daughters about their worth. Regardless of how hard parents try, pop culture does matter for at least a few years to impressionable teens.

Moving on... a part of me wanted to agree with my friend. It had to be heartbreaking for Billy Ray to see his daughter declare her sexuality and independence so vociferously on stage. She's clearly wanted to shed the good-girl Hannah Montana image for a while, and there is no better platform than the VMA's when the Backstreet Boys will be sharing the same stage for the first time in several years.

But I can't agree with him. I think Billy Ray set himself up for this. Sure, I'm not a Billy Ray or a Hannah Montana fan, so I'm not as well-versed in Cyrus family dynamics as others are but it always seemed like he was too eager for his daughter to have a big career. Most parents want their children to do better in life than they did, but there is a fine line between that sentiment and hoisting the life you wanted on your kids because you couldn't achieve it yourself. I think he crossed that line and his daughter made sure she rebelled publicly so she could live her own life.

Every child rebels, it is a right of passage. Few have the stage Miley does and few have the reasons to use that stage as effectively as she did. I hope I learn how to walk on the correct side of that line for my daughter's sake and my sanity.

Popular posts from this blog

My fourth Father's Day

This Father's Day is a happy one while being a great day for personal reflection. The Kid could hardly contain her excitement waiting for me to wake up so she could give me her gifts. Church, lunch at the Original Buddy's Pizza and kayaking on Lake Muskoday made today happy.

I also can't help reflect on the past. Four years ago today, we were at Lincoln Hall of Justice, Family Division in front of Judge Christopher Dingell to finalize The Kid's adoption.

It was a strange day. Our adoption could have been over a few weeks before if we had opted to have Wayne County Courts mail us her new birth certificate, but we decided we wanted to hear it from the judge himself. What we assumed would be a joyous occasion wasn't, the Judge was annoyed we wasted his time and told his clerk as soon as he decreed our adoption final that he never wanted to do another hearing like that again.

Still, it was a joyous day. Adoption Day unintentionally fell on my grandmother's birthda…

The value of keeping an old-school journal

I started journaling a few years ago as a way to get some of the thoughts in my brain out in a less public way than a blog. I focused my journal on writing letters to my daughter about everything from my own childhood to her loving attempt to serve breakfast to our family this morning. The journal coincided with my decision to wind down the number of blog posts about her, mostly because she deserves to tell her own story when she wants to tell it and in the way she wants to tell it.

I also want to save the embarrassing stories for when she starts dating.

Lately, I have done a lousy job keeping up on my journal. Until a few nights ago, I had not updated it since mid-June. Life has been hectic, trying to balance a demanding job with an exacting MBA schedule, family, and my want for being involved in city politics. Putting off journaling has been easy, there is always something that seems more pressing on my plate.

Finally I made the decision to wait one more day before finishing a pape…

Year one with The Kid, the start of an amazing life as a family

One year ago, I was running to the Target in the Eastland Mall because we needed a camera fast.  I woke up that morning, realizing that we would always want to remember that day with better photos than we would get from our smartphones. I was on a conference call for work as I ran through the store, half paying attention because I needed to hurry back to pick up Gladys so we could get to Catholic Social Services of Wayne County in time for our meeting.

I didn't want to be late for our first chance to meet The Kid.

Gladys and I were both nervous. We had seen a few pictures during our last visit with our social worker, and we had the family history the agency was allowed to release to us, but we didn't know a thing about The Kid's personality. Was she shy or playful? Would she be scared or was she curious about her surroundings? Would she cry when she met us or would she warm up to us? Would she like us?

We agreed to try playing it cool when we met her. We wouldn't rush…


Ebates Coupons and Cash Back