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Are toddlers more dangerous than honey badgers?

Toddlers are dangerous. They like doing things such as attempting to run at full speed between their dad's legs or my personal favorite, decide to end cuddle time with a nice tap dance routine on your lap. All new fathers should be given a cup and instructions about when to start wearing it because it can seem like your toddler wants to make sure they are the last child you'll ever have.

And as all dads know, there are the WWE style elbow drops to the gut and head-butts that would make Rowdy Roddy Piper cry with envy in store for each of us.

Like the honey badger, toddlers will put almost anything into their mouths, especially if you've told them no.  They will chase pets around the house until the pets are begging for you to find them a new home. In some ways, they just don't give a shit.

But then they do something cute, like clap when Whip It by Devo is played. Or they start singing your special song for them when you're getting them ready for bed. Or they shriek "BYE BYE" at the top of their lungs for the birds that are flying away. Or they start bringing all of their books to you to read.

You get the picture. Toddlers inflict an amazing amount of pain, and do their best to make up for it by doing what comes naturally to them, being cute. Luckily, their cute is a whole lot cuter than the honey badger.

 

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