Keeping The Kid from shrinking

-
This is a hard post for me to write because I know sexism is alive and well in American culture. I've witnessed it first hand, and women are just as likely to be the perpetrator as men. I've watched female colleagues labeled as obstinate and problem employees for expressing the same concerns in the same meeting that I have expressed, when I walk away unscathed by criticism. Our collective sexist culture exists in families as well, where sons can do no wrong and daughters are told to stop provoking their brothers. There are multitudes of statistics and studies that point to male bias in the workplace and in families as well.

I am not here to debate that, although I still have trouble wrapping my mind around the alleged superiority of one gender over another. Instead, I'm trying to learn how I can help my daughter from feeling that she needs to shrink herself, or deprive herself in order to keep the peace in the workplace or in a relationship. 

All women deserve a chance to be educated, to be equal partners in relationships, to have a fair shot at a fulfilling career, to determine when or if they give birth. How do I make sure The Kid knows this? 

   
This video is forcing me to think about my ideals in a different light. Are they important enough to want to pass to my daughter? If they are, how do I pass them to her in a way that will help guide her as an adult? Am I ready for her to reject the ideals that I hold dear? The only thing that is clear to me is trying to force her to believe as I do will backfire. The rest, I'm afraid, is going to be trial and error. I wish there was a better answer because I don't want my daughter to feel like she needs to shrink to be accepted.

Popular posts from this blog

Marching for hope in our neighborhood

-
Image
The Kid and I walked our neighborhood this evening, but with a different purpose than usual. Many in our neighborhood gathered at Gesu Catholic Church to March for Hope . Roughly this time last year, a federal judge who lives a few streets over, was shot on his front porch in a botched robbery attempt. His physical recovery from the single bullet to the knee took the better part of a year and extensive rehabilitation, and his emotional recovery was sped by his church community and immediate neighbors. I don't know the judge, nor am I a member of his church Gesu Catholic. I'm not much of a protest guy either, I prefer to work behind the scenes. I read about the walk this morning , and almost forgot about it until Gladys started to do some work for a class she's taking. So we bundled up The Kid, and the two of us walked over to the church to support our neighborhood. When we walked into the church, I was struck immediately with the knowledge that this was not a protes
Read more

Yet another blog of parenting advice

-
Image
A friend whose wife is expecting their first child was asking me for advice today. He's going to be a new dad, so he was asking in general terms because until you're in it, you really don't know what to ask for. My knee-jerk reaction was to tell him to get rest. Lots of it, whenever you can from now until the kids are adults. Forget the idea of work/life balance too, because balance is a myth. Sometimes work will take priority, sometimes the kids will, and sometimes dad has to be a priority. If you're too concerned about hitting a false measure of balance, you're going to miss something. The End of the Beginning And that was it. That's all I could come up with until I got in the car and scarfed down one of the sugar cookies I bought for myself as a treat that I had no intention of sharing. Here's what I came up with. Avoid watching Caillou at all costs. For some reason, kids are absolutely mesmerized by him. No adult on that show holds the kid acc
Read more

But you're so young and athletic

-
Image
I fully expected to be writing a few humble brag posts on my social media channels by now of my athletic prowess, or at least tales of how I survived my first couple of organized classic cross country ski races. I’ve long thought about what it would be like to participate in the Noquemanon Ski Marathon , but living in a snow-desert like Detroit makes training tough. Since I’ve never done a race in my life on skis, I figured it would be a good idea to take on some shorter distances to see if this was something I would really enjoy doing. My training for the Krazy Klassic closer to home was fun. My walks with Barney were longer. So was my time on the yoga mat. When the race began, it was harder than I expected but I chalked that up to a lack of time on skis this year. Ultimately, I hit my goal, which was to finish the race. My 5k time was among the slowest that day , but I left the experience encouraged that my fitness was going in the right direction for the White Pine Stampede a few w
Read more