Skip to main content

My daughter is your typical rude American

The Kid's vocabulary has exploded lately. Her often non-stop narrative occasionally makes sense now, and she pulls a typical brutish American move when you don't understand her, she repeats what she just said at maximum volume.

For the most part, her diction is spot on. She is very clear with the mono-syllabic words she does know, and her ability to string together short sentences is improving (although I think I'll be saying "cankoo" instead of thank you for quite a while). And she absolutely melts her word nerd Papa's heart by using every single word in her vocabulary correctly.

But incidents like what transpired Friday are indicative of what can drive the parents of toddlers to an early grave.

On my way back from a business trip in Chicago, my windshield wiper fluid lines were frozen. It was a stressful drive, mostly because I had my boss and a co-worker in the car and I could only see when I could tailgate a trucker to get any moisture on my windshield. So I opted to go in for a carwash, figuring the combination of hot water and the car dryer would melt anything away. It worked, sort of. The wiper fluid was thoroughly melted, and I could see clearly without endangering my passengers, but the sunroof that I never wanted (long story) and absolutely hate, leaked all over me and my boss.

Or so I thought.

As my lovely daughter and I made our way to daycare the next day, she said, "Papa. Wet."  I asked if she peed through her Pull-Up, and was answered with a resounding, "No Papa. Wet." At the next light, I reached back and felt her seat, which was clearly cold and wet. The water stain above her seat told me the culprit. I acknowledged that she didn't pee-pee, and told her we would be at daycare soon so we could get it cleaned up.

The next 10 minutes of my drive sounded like this:

"Wet Papa."

"Okay kiddo, we're almost at daycare. Papa will help you get dry when we get there, okay?"

"Okay Papa... WET PAPA!"

And every time I did not respond to her shouts of, "WET PAPA!", she repeated them with an increasing volume and annoyance in her tone, as if I didn't understand a word she said.

Luckily, I think we have plenty of time to correct this before she's 18. Or at least before she's parodied in a Ken Tanaka video.


Popular posts from this blog

Our family became whole because another family fell apart

A co-worker shared a powerful story from Huffington Post with me today. It was one adoptive mother's account of the days from meeting their birth mother to walking away from the hospital with their soon-to-be-adopted daughter in tow. I almost cried reading it because I can relate to the story in many ways, especially the feelings of uncertainty that are ever present until you see the amended birth certificate in the mail. 
"Bearing witness to her sorrow, I realize BabyMama is also experiencing three days of labor. As we text and grieve, we experience the contractions of the heart and body and mind together." -Kathleen Dennehy 
Our situation was different. The family in the story had to wait for three days in the hospital while the birth mother had to make the impossible decision to surrender her child for adoption. The Kid's foster mom had taken her home from the hospital and cared for her until her birth parent's legal rights to custody were terminated. We met h…

To a generous young trick-or-treater for his kindness

Our neighborhood is unbelievable on Halloween night. Starting about 6 p.m., our street is packed with trick-or-treaters. If you don't start stockpiling candy early, you could go broke trying to keep up with the crowd.

The Kid doesn't really like the trick-or-treating part, she loves to hand out the candy. She ventured out twice, once with me and once with Grandma, but returned because she loved being the helper kid who was making everyone enjoy their holiday.

One young man hesitated at our door after she stuffed a few treats into his bag. If I had to guess, he was about 10 or 11 years old himself. He started fumbling in his bag, pulled out a treat and said, "This is for her since she hasn't been out trick-or-treating for herself."

I think he was a little embarrassed by our effusive praise of his generosity. He didn't have to do that for our little Wonder Woman. She was having a great time and has a boatload of candy from her two tours of our block. But he wa…

My fourth Father's Day

This Father's Day is a happy one while being a great day for personal reflection. The Kid could hardly contain her excitement waiting for me to wake up so she could give me her gifts. Church, lunch at the Original Buddy's Pizza and kayaking on Lake Muskoday made today happy.

I also can't help reflect on the past. Four years ago today, we were at Lincoln Hall of Justice, Family Division in front of Judge Christopher Dingell to finalize The Kid's adoption.

It was a strange day. Our adoption could have been over a few weeks before if we had opted to have Wayne County Courts mail us her new birth certificate, but we decided we wanted to hear it from the judge himself. What we assumed would be a joyous occasion wasn't, the Judge was annoyed we wasted his time and told his clerk as soon as he decreed our adoption final that he never wanted to do another hearing like that again.

Still, it was a joyous day. Adoption Day unintentionally fell on my grandmother's birthda…

Ebates

Ebates Coupons and Cash Back