Skip to main content

The trust our daughter places in us

Dancing Queen!
When Gladys and I met The Kid for the first time, we were nervous about how she would react. We promised ourselves that we wouldn't be disappointed if she didn't crawl over to us, or if she cried incessantly when she met us because that is what seven month olds do. Much to our surprise, our strategy of waiting for her to approach us worked well, because The Kid eventually creeped over to Gladys and fell asleep in her arms.

I never thought about how much she trusted us then, and how much she trusts us now until I read an iReport on CNN. The author, MamaHappyBee said this toward the end of her post:

Imagine if the moment that you met a new person – literally, the first moment you laid eyes on them – you were expected to live with them, trust them, rely on them for your every need, respect them, bond with them emotionally, and follow their rules. This is what children in care go through when they’re placed in a new foster home.
As adults, we don’t build relationships that way, not even friendships. We start small – “Hey, let’s get a coffee!” and then we get to know each other before we care, trust, and love. Kids in care don’t get that luxury. They are thrust head first into new places, with new people, new rules. Sometimes they’re in a new town. They sleep in unfamiliar beds in unfamiliar houses and eat unfamiliar breakfasts at unfamiliar places.

She was talking about her kids, who she fostered with her husband, and eventually adopted. Obviously, our situation as adoptive parents was different, due in part to The Kid being so young. She doesn't remember life without us, so it has become natural for her to trust us but I know that her trust could be lost in an instant.

By the way, if you are at all interested in adopting, I found myself yelling, "YES!" to myself to almost every point MamaHappyBee makes in her post. It is certainly worth your time reading.

Popular posts from this blog

My fourth Father's Day

This Father's Day is a happy one while being a great day for personal reflection. The Kid could hardly contain her excitement waiting for me to wake up so she could give me her gifts. Church, lunch at the Original Buddy's Pizza and kayaking on Lake Muskoday made today happy.

I also can't help reflect on the past. Four years ago today, we were at Lincoln Hall of Justice, Family Division in front of Judge Christopher Dingell to finalize The Kid's adoption.

It was a strange day. Our adoption could have been over a few weeks before if we had opted to have Wayne County Courts mail us her new birth certificate, but we decided we wanted to hear it from the judge himself. What we assumed would be a joyous occasion wasn't, the Judge was annoyed we wasted his time and told his clerk as soon as he decreed our adoption final that he never wanted to do another hearing like that again.

Still, it was a joyous day. Adoption Day unintentionally fell on my grandmother's birthda…

Reflecting on our walk in the enchanted forest

The weekend before Mother's Day, The Kid and I went on a lovely walk through a beautiful enchanted forest. There was lush green grass, towering trees that shaded you from the hot sun, beautiful flora lined our path, and healthy fauna seemed to appear around every corner. That was until we turned a corner and encountered ponds filled with hungry, biting alligators and angry dragons. We ran through that part, narrowly escaping our impending doom.

Our harrowing escape made our walk through the rest of our neighborhood that much more enjoyable.

On the way home, The Kid started worrying that we hadn't done anything for Mother's Day and started to pick weeds out of a neighbors yard. It was the prettiest flower she could find. I started to protest, we have plenty of weeds in our own yard, but The Kid insisted because she wanted Mama to have something beautiful from our walk. We ended up with a few pockets full of maple seeds and her flower.

Mama was appropriately, genuinely exci…

Year one with The Kid, the start of an amazing life as a family

One year ago, I was running to the Target in the Eastland Mall because we needed a camera fast.  I woke up that morning, realizing that we would always want to remember that day with better photos than we would get from our smartphones. I was on a conference call for work as I ran through the store, half paying attention because I needed to hurry back to pick up Gladys so we could get to Catholic Social Services of Wayne County in time for our meeting.

I didn't want to be late for our first chance to meet The Kid.

Gladys and I were both nervous. We had seen a few pictures during our last visit with our social worker, and we had the family history the agency was allowed to release to us, but we didn't know a thing about The Kid's personality. Was she shy or playful? Would she be scared or was she curious about her surroundings? Would she cry when she met us or would she warm up to us? Would she like us?

We agreed to try playing it cool when we met her. We wouldn't rush…

Ebates

Ebates Coupons and Cash Back