Skip to main content

Is Nellyville squandering a chance to help safeguard our daughters?



On one of the rare days during the holidays that I didn't work on our house, I binge-watched almost the entire first season of Nellyville. Watching someone on screen who is obviously a loving father and uncle was a little jarring against the backdrop of Hot in Herre, but it was still better television than anything else on at the time.

The scene where he took his daughter Nana bowling on a date is one I could see happening in 15 or so years with me and The Kid. Nana asked Nelly if he trusted her, and he said he did but it was the boys he didn't trust. She said the men coming around her were intimidated by her dad, and he was proud of that, saying, "I'm just letting them know, there are consequences and repercussions.

Again, these are things I could see myself saying. And after a few minutes of, "Yeah! Another dad who thinks the way I do," I realized his attitude toward his son and nephew didn't jive with the attitude he had toward Nana.

Maybe scenes were cut out in editing, but I don't remember one time where he pulled his son or nephew aside and talked with them about how to treat a woman. There were no lectures about respecting a woman's no, or thoughtful scene about giving women respect, including those you say you love.
 
The message I walked away with was a sadly familiar one, the onus for good behavior is on the woman. These young men, who were by all accounts decent men, are given none of the burden for treating the women in their lives with respect and dignity.    

The Nellyville fan in me hopes I missed something, or that scenes were left on the cutting-room floor because they don't make for good television. The proud Papa of a strong little girl was disappointed, thinking that an opportunity to help safeguard our daughters is being squandered.

Popular posts from this blog

Our family became whole because another family fell apart

A co-worker shared a powerful story from Huffington Post with me today. It was one adoptive mother's account of the days from meeting their birth mother to walking away from the hospital with their soon-to-be-adopted daughter in tow. I almost cried reading it because I can relate to the story in many ways, especially the feelings of uncertainty that are ever present until you see the amended birth certificate in the mail. 
"Bearing witness to her sorrow, I realize BabyMama is also experiencing three days of labor. As we text and grieve, we experience the contractions of the heart and body and mind together." -Kathleen Dennehy 
Our situation was different. The family in the story had to wait for three days in the hospital while the birth mother had to make the impossible decision to surrender her child for adoption. The Kid's foster mom had taken her home from the hospital and cared for her until her birth parent's legal rights to custody were terminated. We met h…

To a generous young trick-or-treater for his kindness

Our neighborhood is unbelievable on Halloween night. Starting about 6 p.m., our street is packed with trick-or-treaters. If you don't start stockpiling candy early, you could go broke trying to keep up with the crowd.

The Kid doesn't really like the trick-or-treating part, she loves to hand out the candy. She ventured out twice, once with me and once with Grandma, but returned because she loved being the helper kid who was making everyone enjoy their holiday.

One young man hesitated at our door after she stuffed a few treats into his bag. If I had to guess, he was about 10 or 11 years old himself. He started fumbling in his bag, pulled out a treat and said, "This is for her since she hasn't been out trick-or-treating for herself."

I think he was a little embarrassed by our effusive praise of his generosity. He didn't have to do that for our little Wonder Woman. She was having a great time and has a boatload of candy from her two tours of our block. But he wa…

Difficult to discipline myself

An advocate of mine likes to remind me that my daughter is one of my greatest teachers. It sounded hokey the first few times she said it. Now, I agree completely.

I have ruminated on this lately because I just finished reading the book Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline on the advice of the staff at The Kid's preschool. As a family, Grandma included, we're reading it so we are all approaching discipline for The Kid from the same place.

While I will not be giving a full book report, there are a few things that make the approach advocated in the book difficult for me to follow because it is not a part of my nature. For example, I am learning to tell The Kid when I notice her doing something we want to reinforce and to "notice" without judgement. Instead of saying, "good job clearing your plate," I have been saying things like, "I see you doing your part to help our family by clearing your plate."

The reasoning behind the exercise is sound, so it…

Ebates

Ebates Coupons and Cash Back